Meh. I know my toots can feel blunt at times. And many times they're borderline replyguying, though I'm doing my best to learn away from it.
But many times they're the most authentic way of my communication. Setting things straight before moving on.
And then I find out that someone has softblocked me, and I see that there's yet another person I can't have an authentic connection with.
I know, everyone can choose to not interact. Still it sucks to be at this end so often.
@Stoori One of my friends has a condition (exact medical diagnosis escapes me at the moment) where they find difference between appearance and label extremely confusing.
So, they tend to get criticised for misgendering &c., not because they don't want to respect others but because their authentic communication is appearance=label rather than label>appearance.
Not the same as your situation, but thought it might give you a sense of not being alone.
@DaveHiggins Yeah. This specific form of abilism is a bit tricky to address, because the criticized behaviour manifests in a way that is sometimes hard to discern from bigotry, so bringing it up may also be seen as defending bigotry, which is likely to attract canceling commentary. That, in turn, is very demotivating and tiring, so many times it's just easier to just shut up and weather the abilism.
@Stoori It seems part of the wider belief that mental states aren't "real" issues in the way physical ones are.
If someone put up a notice on a door saying "please don't use" and a person who was blind used it, no one would blame the blind person.
So, we should have the same acceptance that some people don't experience social cues that are clear to most, &c.
@Stoori Autistic also. I'm sorry this keeps happening to you. I have been very fortunate to find very patient people (and see advice that even when not directed at me, will help me) so I have ideas if you want them.
@lapis Thank you, but I think I can do without any new ideas now. I just have to remember not to interact with my usual style here (and I think that interacting in English makes the problem worse) and concentrate on my off-fedi friends.
Because, no matter what I do, it would be only me trying to be not like myself. And that's what I've been doing my whole life.
It would be better if other people learned to come halfway towards autists, but I guess it just won't happen.
@Stoori Amen to this, You do you👍
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